"That was pretty much the coolest thing I've ever seen you do."

So Mom and Dad (a.k.a. Papa and Gigi) have created a fun new adult toy: The Candy Cannon. (Now don't get it twisted, this is a family friendly blog, you'll understand why it's an adult toy in a minute.)

Mom and Dad actually got the idea for the candy cannon from their friends, the Schiffgen's, who take grandparenting to a whole new level.

Mom and Dad borrowed the Schiffgen's candy cannon for our family reunion at Bear Lake last weekend and it was a smashing success. So, of course, they had to have one. Here's how it works:

Step 1: Find yourself a hollow steel tube that is sealed at the bottom with a metal plate. Or, in our case, Papa Schiffgen found one at The NPS Store and gave it to my Dad as a gift so my Dad could live out his candy cannon dreams. (Sidebar: Not only are the Schiffgen's the ultimate grandparents but they're probably the nicest, most giving people I've ever met. Another Sidebar: The NPS Store is the weirdest, dirtiest, grossest, most spectacular store ever. You can literally find everything there. It deserves a post all on its own.)

Step 2: Cut a hole in the top of the tube using your plasma cutter. (What? You don't have a plasma cutter? Well, Papa Jake does, because you never know when you'll need it to make a candy cannon.)

Step 3: This step is only necessary if you are a Jenkins, because, well, this is how we operate. Take said steel tube and clean off completely. Goo Gone all of the weird stickers that were on it, etc. Then take your Cricut machine and cut "DANGER: CANDY CANNON" out of vinyl. Apply to steel tube. Cut red flames out of vinyl. Apply flames to candy cannon. There, THAT'S more like it.

Now you're ready to use your candy cannon.

Step 4: You'll need paper cups that fit into the hole at the top of your candy cannon. Fill paper cups up about 1/2 way with candy. Choose "soft candy" (i.e. Tootsie Rolls, Saltwater Taffy). Why soft candy? Well, let's just say that as they're falling on your head like rocks delivered by the wrathful hand of God from the sky, those Blow Pops won't seem like such a good idea. Papa and Gigi also came up with the idea to roll up dollar bills and put them in the cups to make things more interesting.

Step 5: Make a dry ice bomb. This is the part where the candy cannon becomes an adult toy. I didn't know how to make a dry ice bomb, but apparently this is something that men just know how to do. Or, just Google it. We found that a standard 16 oz water bottle works best. (P.S. Use common sense and good judgment, blah blah blah, etc. etc. if you decide to do this, OK? Thanks. Love you guys.)

Step 6: Drop dry ice bomb into candy cannon. Place cup on top of the candy cannon. Run a safe distance away from the candy cannon. Wait for it....WAIT FOR IT!!!!

Step 7: BOOM!!! Dry ice bomb explodes. Candy and dollar bills shoot up in the air. HIGH up in the air. Like, you may or may not find candy on your roof later. Children are laughing, shoving candy in their mouths and dollar bills in their pockets. Your man just got to legitimately re-live the days of his wayward youth. Everybody is happy.

We took the candy cannon to Alek's family BBQ last Saturday and it was a huge hit. I, personally, didn't love the whole experience (see photo above where I'm nervously clutching the next batch of candy, head on Alek's shoulder like a security blanket, waiting in nervous anticipation for the bomb to explode). You know how when you open up a can of Pillsbury crescent rolls and at some point the can explodes open? And you don't know when it's coming, you just know it's coming at some point, and the anticipation is building, and your heart is pounding and that damn can of crescent rolls popping open scares you way more than it should? Well, the candy cannon is kind of like that.

All that said, it was TOTALLY worth it. After the last batch of candy and dollar bills were shot into the sky, Alek's nephew turned around and said "That was pretty much the coolest thing I've ever seen you do."

Thanks Papa and Gigi.

P.S. Check out Gizmodo's hilarous take on the candy cannon. ;-)


Lindsay said...

Oh my goodness! This is amazing. Candy & money+dry ice bombs=happy husband. I'm going to have to figure a way to do this. Thanks for the post!

Anonymous said...

Good Story.. you have to check Adult Toy Store..